I Love the taste of mush!

Before I start the next post, I want to say a word of thanks to everyone who has wished me well, who has offered support to both me and Phylly and a special thanks to all those who have actually performed in some supportive manner.  We are incredibly grateful to you all, every word and gesture is appreciated more than you know.

05.06.11

Sweet relief for P! The night time aide soignante last night was not impossibly cute.  She was built like a brick shit house with badly cropped hair and literally looked like a bulldog chewing a wasp what with the gum in her mouth.

06.06.11

I am a happy man, or at least on the way to being a happy man.  Right now I am eating pulped apple from a tin and have a Danone plain yoghurt to follow.  The n.g. tube is not out yet as Dr. S wants to see how I eat before deciding.  As I said before the key to any of this is concentrating on the successes however small they may be.  So that’s what I am focussing on.  I am also celebrating the removal of a number of stitches from the wound plus every other clip.  The nurse (so cute! Sorry P) was lovely and removed the stitches in a very capable manner but the clips were a hoot.  They are quite small and look like staples.  The nurse has a staple remover but she is a little cack handed with it. She doesn’t hurt me, though each time she pulls a clip she almost winces.  So far, so good but she keeps pinging clips across the room.  I hear her approach, she then holds her breath as she gets a hold of a clip with the remover.  I feel the squeeze and then ping! “merde”, she says and there is the clatter of a clip skittering across the floor.  I would laugh but I try not to as she is concentrating so hard and I don’t want to put her off.

The pressure bandage on the left side of my neck, to help hold back the oedema around the scar has gone and Amelie has used half the hospital’s steri-strips to bind my tracheostomy wound.  Dr S has told me off, I’m not pressing the trachy wound firmly enough when talking.

Stop Press! Out comes the n.g. tube! The dietician came in to ask about how I enoyed the apple pulp and yoghurt, I said fine, to which she said then the tube can come out today.  I punch the air and she smiles indulgently. She tells me I am to eat ‘beaucoup’ but it will be mush for quite a while.  Right now I don’t care, I am performing mental cartwheels and can’t wait until P comes in tonight.  Another major step for me.

Dr S comes to see me and asks how the eating was.  I tell him fine and he says, “well, let’s take out the tube”.  Right there and then he take scissors from the nurse, cuts the stitch in my nose holding the tube in place and pulls.  There is little pain, just a weird sensation as the tube passes over the back of my throat.  Dr S is not one who wants to get his hands dirty if he doesn’t need to, so there is a fine picture of him holding the dry end of the tube and backing away from me.  The tube feels like it goes on forever but in truth it is only about half a metre long.  Listen to him! half a metre, he says.  Once it is out and I swallow, I’m surprised at how little my throat hurts.  I expected the rubbing would mean I would feel more for longer.  Dr S brings in a colleague and they inspect my  gum behind my lower lip. It is a mess in there.  It is where they cut through the jaw bone to expose the tongue to remove the tumour (imagine my lower jaw being like Predator when he ‘opens up’).  The problem is that everything is a little ragged and infected. The ORL colleague is there to see about sewing up the gum, tidying it all up.